you know that slip of reality in between consciousness and unconsciousness in the early hours of the morning, where you're drifting between the space of tangibles and intangibles, where the tangents of right and wrong intersect, where what you see and hear is not necessarily real but sometimes, are as real as things can get. where your grandmother is a chicken and yellow water is your drug. I have been feeling like my entirety has become this parallel existence in which I play both protagonist and antagonist and the bipolarity of character is an amazing explosion of colours like those on an artists' palette... or a wine conoisseur's palate. har, har, har. things like that are funny in this state of mind.

I bet my parents are 6000kms away going is my daughter taking speed? well, was lewis carroll? who knows.
this could be attributed to several factors including (a) an average of 3 hours sleep per day for the past week (b) excessive intoxication (which is not the main driving factor but) (c) memory lapse and (d) what we now call the conference plague. my physical breakdown has manifested itself into the emotional side of me resulting in moodswings and a pathetic self-pitying string of thoughts. however, in my defense, I would think a lot of people would have reacted in quite the similar way; if not worse.

I'm always learning new things about myself. everyday.
like for example, I learnt yesterday that bringing my flask into a bar is "so Tracy" and is frankly, totally uncool.
I learnt that I'm more honest that I'd like to be too.

do you know why you read plotless books? because they are more real than stories. life has no opening no climax no endings. it's just one moment looping into another, creating impact, progression, thoughts and perspectives. life has no steady momentum, just random motions.